'Don’t ever put your happiness in someone else’s hands. They’ll drop it. They’ll drop it everytime!'

Some facts about me & my story - I think I'm too fat I AM TOO FAT - I lost 22 Ibs in one year - I hate to eat in front of people which I don't know well enough/ I don't like - Once 2 guys talked about 'fat girls' and that they 'would never kiss or fuck them' in front of me, then they realized I was there and one of theme said something like : here's no fat girl attendant right now ' .. I almost cried because of them - Since summer 2011 I sway betwen anorexia,diates and 'normal eating' -I never had a boyfriend - I've never been kissed - No boy shows any interest in me - I hate my father - He doesn't know my mom has a boyfriend - Her boyfriend lives at our house for more than 7 years now - I feel uncomfortable in my body - Sometimes I don't know who I reall am , 'cause I always play a role in front of others.. -Everyone thinks I'm the cute-happy-lucky-little girl I've alway been - My best friend left me alone for another girl - They took all my hapiness with their ignorations and their back-stabbing games - Everything changed during the last year - I'm all alone now - I am very shy - I don't know where I can meet new people - I'm ugly - Nobody loves me - None of my friends appreciates me and the things I do for them - I want to have a real friend + boyfriend! - My grades become worse and worse.. and I become lazier and lazier - Nobody knows these facts + theres NOBODY I could tell just one of these - All these facts make me sad