boooordem

hey guys right now I'm just chillin' in my living room and drinking some tea. It's so so cold outside I can't handle it! i feel like my brain is freezing :( I fell so sick and I can't breath trough my nose :( today was a really shitty day! I had to learn for religion class but instead i was hanging on my laptop for the whole day watching videos on youtube, stalking people on facebook & instagram, looking for some depressing pictures on tumblr and watching movies... Like all my other tests this year I will fail again tomorrow.. furthermore I went to late to my job at the theatre. I came at 7pm like always and the boss told me I had to come at 5pm because it was sunday.. Luckily he wasn't mad at me!! On friday I went to my best friends birthday party! We had a lot of fun and we all were very drunk ;) Since 2 or 3 weeks i feel even more fat than usually ! Last week i tried not to eat and it worked well mostly but some days I ate unhealthy things like muffins & than I didn't know to stop eating :( I just feel awful .. bye

'Don’t ever put your happiness in someone else’s hands. They’ll drop it. They’ll drop it everytime!'

Some facts about me & my story - I think I'm too fat I AM TOO FAT - I lost 22 Ibs in one year - I hate to eat in front of people which I don't know well enough/ I don't like - Once 2 guys talked about 'fat girls' and that they 'would never kiss or fuck them' in front of me, then they realized I was there and one of theme said something like : here's no fat girl attendant right now ' .. I almost cried because of them - Since summer 2011 I sway betwen anorexia,diates and 'normal eating' -I never had a boyfriend - I've never been kissed - No boy shows any interest in me - I hate my father - He doesn't know my mom has a boyfriend - Her boyfriend lives at our house for more than 7 years now - I feel uncomfortable in my body - Sometimes I don't know who I reall am , 'cause I always play a role in front of others.. -Everyone thinks I'm the cute-happy-lucky-little girl I've alway been - My best friend left me alone for another girl - They took all my hapiness with their ignorations and their back-stabbing games - Everything changed during the last year - I'm all alone now - I am very shy - I don't know where I can meet new people - I'm ugly - Nobody loves me - None of my friends appreciates me and the things I do for them - I want to have a real friend + boyfriend! - My grades become worse and worse.. and I become lazier and lazier - Nobody knows these facts + theres NOBODY I could tell just one of these - All these facts make me sad

HI

Hi guys, I don't think anybody will read this or is even interested in what I'm talking about. My name is Jules, I'm 16 years old and I live somewhere in Europe. I've wanted to start m yow 'diary-blog' since 2 or 3 years, but I've always been too busy and too shy. I was always scared that someone who knows me in real life might find my blog.. I decided to write in english for 2 reasons : - i hope that people all over the world understand what I'm writing & that the people from my country won't ever find out who I reall am ! - I want to improve my englisch ( so if you want to correct some of my expressions or you have suggestions to improve my styleand texts tell me in the comments :) )